Is this a sin?
by V.L. Cari
Summary: Diamonds AU: Psyche wakes up from a confusing dream, and seeks out help from his older brother, Tsugaru. However, does Tsugaru help him with his childish questions? Or does he confuse Psyche even more by dragging him into adult issues?
1. Cause and Effect

_This is another one shot Cari and I wrote a few weeks ago, that I just got around to editing. It is still in the rough draft stage. Things may be changed or added to it. But I thought it's edited enough to post up. This story takes place many years after Diamonds, and focuses on Psyche and Tsugaru, rather than on Izaya and Shizuo. -Twinx_

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><p>Psyche woke up shivering, gasping for air slightly as he looked around his bedroom. The first thing he saw was the glowing Deadmau5 poster hanging on the back of his bedroom door, next to the MIKA poster on his wall. He placed a small hand on his chest as he continued to glance around. Once he calmed down a moment, He laid back, resting his head back on the plush pink pillow. He felt an odd feeling in his pants; a strange sticky feeling.<p>

He flung the blankets off and looked down, to find that the front of his pajamas was soiled. He whimpered slightly, not sure what this meant. Did he really wet the bed again? He hasn't done that since he was five!

He scrambled out of bed and slipped out of his room, rushing down to the hall to the bathroom to clean himself up. He slipped in and turned on the light, blinding himself with the sudden light. He closed the bathroom door behind him, sliding down the wall as he thought in silence.

He couldn't tell his parents. That'd be too awkward. Maybe Tsugaru could help him? But would he know what was wrong? He wasn't sure. He sighed and took a towel and quickly wiped himself clean, tossing the now dirty towel down the laundry shoot. He slowly unlocked the bathroom door and slipped out, not bothering to shut off the light.

He swiftly tiptoed down the hall, making sure to stay out of the crack of light that was leaking on the ground. Once he stood in front of the door across from his, he took a deep breathe. He gently rapped his knuckles against the door, knocking only where the blue music note was taped onto the door.

"Tsu-chan...Tsu-chan are you awake?" he whispered, barely audible.

Meanwhile, Tsugaru shifted with a grunt, trying to find a more comfortable spot on his shrinking bed. With a huff, he gave up, knowing he was getting taller; he could almost reach his Dad's shoulders. He opened his eyes when he heard the small tapping sound. He sat up, letting go of the blue blanket he always clutches onto, letting it fall into his lap. He shivered a bit as the wind hit his exposed chest and onto his belly.

"Hmm...?" he rubbed his eyes, making sure to clean them good before he got up and walked toward the door. He opened the door slowly, peeking around the edge to be greeted with worried, pink eyes.

"Psyche...? Yeah, what's wrong?" he asked as he opened the door wider to let Psyche in, stepping back. Psyche walked in and paced back and forth a bit. Something was obviously troubling him. Tsugaru walked to the bed and pushed the blankets back, making room for Psyche to sit.

Psyche quickly sat on the edge of the bed, playing with his hands as they folded in his lap, his feet tapping the floor rapidly.

"I...I had a weird dream...and...I think I'm hurt..." He shook his head slightly, blinking the tears out of his eyes. He clenched his fits in his pajama pants and looked at Tsugaru, "I think I'm broken!"

"...You're…broken...?" Tsugaru raised an eyebrow, asking quietly as he sat next to Psyche, hanging his feet off the side of the bed.

"Why do you think that?" he asked softly as he rubbed Psyche's back in comfort "Want to tell me about it? Or should I go get Mom and Dad?"

"No! Don't tell them!" Psyche cried, grabbing Tsugaru's shirt and hung his head, hiding his face a bit.

Tsugaru looked down, nuzzling his nose on Psyche's hair and chuckling, "Fine fine, I won't tell them"

"I...I had this weird dream...and you were in it..." The youngest brother muttered, glancing toward the door to make sure no one was peeping.

"Really? I was in it? What was it about?"

Psyche blushed a bit, folding his hands in his lap again. "Well...we were just...listening to music in my room...and um...you were hugging me, and then...you...you..." he stammered.

"I...?" Tsugaru stammered, starting to worry. Psyche wasn't saying much. Did he accidentally hurt his younger brother? Was Psyche afraid of him now? Is that why he won't look him in the face? Tsugaru furrowed his brow and shook his head slightly. He looked back down and softly brushed Psyche's hair behind his ear, "Did I do something bad?"

Psyche shook his head, covering his eyes with his hair. "Well...no. I mean...maybe. It...It felt good..."

This confused Tsugaru immensely. It felt good? What could feel…good? Tsugaru blinked and looked down again, continuing to pull his fingers through the soft raven hair. "What felt good? I don't understand."

"You...you...touched me...And it felt...weird..." Psyche managed to whisper, before his voice failed him and cracked. "But...a good weird..."

Oh…OH! Tsugaru's eyes widened, looking away to hide his small blush. He cleared his throat, finally understanding what kind of dream Psyche had.

"Those are... those are called wet dreams..." he managed to say, still not looking at his younger brother.

Psyche looked up, a gleam of hope in his magenta eyes. Tsugaru knew! Tsugaru understood! He could help!

"Is that why I wet the bed?"

"Yes, you're not broken."

"But why? Why did I...um…pee myself?" He asked, his brow wrinkled with slight worry.

Tsugaru was thrown off kilter for a moment. Had he really heard correctly?

"...Pee?"

Psyche nodded once.

Tsugaru cracked a smile, feeling the wave of laughter bubbling to the surface. He couldn't help but laugh, "That wasn't pee, Psyche...!"

Psyche turned a bright red and whimpered, shoving Tsugaru. "Don't laugh! What else could it possibly be, eh? It can't be that stuff that makes babies. I mean...that's for adults! Right...?"

"It actually is though." Tsugaru said, as he kept chuckling, "Was it white?"

"Um.…" Psyche thought back to the towel. He hasn't thought about looking down. He was too upset. "I didn't look. I was too freaked out to look." He mumbled, still flustered.

Tsugaru couldn't help but look down toward Psyche's pants, noticing the slighty bulge that was still there. He tilted his head curiously as he kept staring.

"Did you like it?"

Psyche coughed a bit and hid his face. He couldn't hide the fact that he had…liked it. He liked it a lot. A lot more than he should have. But he couldn't tell Tsugaru that…but he couldn't lie either.

In the end, he just nodded slightly, blushing even more.


	2. Action and Reaction

Tsugaru thought for a moment, making sure to seem calm even though on the inside, he was nervous about this all, "Why me...?"

Psyche whimpered a bit, getting up to close the door, blocking out the bathroom light that was streaming in. He took a deep breathe and turned, facing Tsugaru's silhouette in front of his window. "I...I don't know..." He sighed.

Tsugaru got up slowly, and walked calmly to trap Psyche between himself and the door. He placed his hands on each side of Psyche's hips, palms lying flat against the door, closing it fully as he stepped closer, "Would you like it to be... real?"

Psyche's heartbeat increased as his breath hitched in his throat. He backed against the door, swallowing slightly, feeling his stomach tighten into a knot. He looked into Tsugaru's calm blue eyes.

"But...but...we...we're brothers...that's...not right is it?" He whispered, his voice failing him as he remained breathless.

"We're not really brothers." he breathed out, nuzzling Psyche's ear with his nose, as his chest pushed Psyche a bit more back, "I explained it to you before, right? When you asked why you didn't look like Dad and more like Mom."

"Ahh...y-yeah but...does that mean...is this...o-ok?" he breathed out, feeling face and ears turn red. A sharp shiver went down Psyche's spine, making his body start to shiver and his skin crawl.

His blue eyes scanned Psyche's neck, slowly nuzzling his ear and giving the supple skin a soft kiss.

"Does it feel wrong...?" He grabbed Psyche's waist in his hands, running his palms over the soft fabric of his pajamas.

Psyche sucked in a breath, shivering as a soft sigh left him. "N...no...I...I like it..." he muttered, turning his face away, closing his eyes in embarrassment. Tsugaru kissed his ear, licking it softly before massaging his waist a bit more.

"What did I do on your dream?"

"Y...you...mnnn...t-touched me...and...and just...d-did what you're doing..." The young raven stammered, breath hitching at times as his eyes slid half closed.

"I still don't know what I did..." Tsugaru chuckled, as he breathed softly, running his nose up and down Psyche's neck teasingly, earning a soft mewl from the younger sibling. A small blush formed on his already rosy cheek as he lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the bed.

"We...we were...lying down..."

Tsugaru looked at the bed where Psyche was pointing, grabbing Psyche's hand and dragging him there, "How...?"

Psyche took a deep breathe, mustering the courage to speak his mind.

"We...were lying down." Psyche said as calm as he could, gently sitting on the bed, dragging Tsugaru onto the bed next to him. "We were facing each other, and...and you were just touching m-me softly...d-down there, and kissing my neck."

Tsugaru looked at the bed, then once again back at Psyche's blushing face, "Did you know that dreams are sort of like... unconscious wishes? Like, you want those things to happen in real life..." he tried to explain in a way Psyche wouldn't be scared, he knew how sensitive he can be. Psyche nodded, understanding what Tsugaru was saying. It was true, that ever since Tsugaru became a teenager, he looked a lot...prettier in Psyche's eyes. Although, now he knows that prettier isn't the best word. Something else...

"Do you also...have...unconscious wishes?"

The question surprised Tsugaru a bit, although he was expecting something odd from his brother. He always seemed to say or ask the oddest things during serious moments. Usually, they were innocent.

"More or less..." The young blonde replied, murmuring. He scratched his cheek, looking elsewhere, with slight embarrassment. "It's because people grow up, and start to like other stuff... like Mom and Dad explained..."

"Aah…right." Psyche looked up, staring at Tsugaru for a moment. He tilted his head to the side slightly as he watched his older brother lie beside him. The way the moonlight shone through the window, creating an ethereal halo around his body. His hair glinted as the blonde strands caught the light. His dark blue eyes were glancing in another direction, focusing on something Psyche couldn't see. A soft blush was painted on his cheeks, and his lips were drawn tight in a line with slight awkwardness. The younger boy gently reached out, brushing his fingertips gently along his brother's cheek, feeling the warmth that radiated off them.

Tsugaru's eyes closed for a moment, feeling the soft fingers brush against his cheek. Turning his head, he looked back at Psyche, staring into the pink, curious orbs that stared right back at his own. Grabbing the smaller hand, he guided it to his lips, kissing every single one of those delicate fingers.

"Are you sure... about this?" he whispered.

Psyche's eyes closed slightly as he was entranced by the strange, calming beauty his brother gave off. His fingers burned with each tender kiss that was placed on them. Was he supposed to think this way for his sibling? He was sure he wasn't…but. He couldn't help himself. He was so drawn in. He glanced away for a moment, swallowing, before looking back into Tsugaru's gaze. He nodded his head, still slightly afraid of what was to come. But if real life was as good as his dream….he was willing to try anything.

Tsugaru was ready to wait a long time for a response, knowing very well that Psyche wouldn't openly reply with voice. However, he was pleasantly surprised when Psyche answered so easily. He leaned closer, pressing his lips onto the soft, pink lips that were twitching in curiosity. He pressed firmer, making the smaller body fall back on the bed as he crawled above him gently.

Psyche squeaked when Tsugaru brushes his lips against his, gently pressing him into the bed. His eyes felt heavy, as he let them fall, a warm feeling of comfort flooding his veins as Tsugaru continued to kiss him innocently. He kissed back, unsure about what to do. The blond kept the kiss soft, slowly removing his lips to attach them to Psyche's neck, nuzzling and breathing softly against the skin. Parting Psyche's knees with his hips, he pressed down and embraced him.

Psyche loved how soft Tsugaru's lips were against his. He wanted to keep kissing him, and nearly whined when Tsugaru pulled away, only to let out a soft gasp when Tsugaru began to kiss and breathe on his neck. Goosebumps ran up his back as he shivered, closing his eyes fully as he draped his arms over Tsugaru's back, pulling him closer. He gasped slightly when he felt his knees spread, feeling the strange swirling sensation in his stomach intensify.

Tsugaru breathed softly against the soft skin below him, nuzzling under his ear and feeling Psyche tense up.

"Relax... Psyche, I won't do anything you don't want me to..." he explained, leaning up and looking at Psyche in the eyes, smiling softly.

Psyche opened his eyes, looking deep into Tsugaru's. The security and honesty that glowed within them made all the nervousness fade away.

"Alright…" he whispered, nodded before leaning up and capturing Tsugaru's mouth once more with his, gently licking along his bottom lip.

The blond, taken aback, blinked quickly before sinking into the feeling, he kissed back and hugged Psyche's waist securely, enjoy the soft lips below him and the small shy sounds he was making. Psyche pulled away after a few quiet moments of just kissing. He rested his forehead on Tsugaru's shoulder, panting softly as he tried to clear his head of the fog that clouded his mind. His body was tingling and hot, and his heart raced.

He gently pressed his lips for Tsugaru's neck, just like how his brother had done to him, hoping he was doing it right. Tsugaru's breath stopped for a moment, he gulped and felt his cheeks burn a little.

"Psyche..." he breathed against Psyche's ear, massaging his waist with his fingers grabbing the sides of Psyche's PJs, lifting enough so that his thumb could brush the soft skin. Another shiver went through Psyche's body as he let out another mewl.

"Ts-Tsu-chan~" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he moved his kisses up to peck Tsugaru's jaw. Psyche brushed his nose against Tsugaru's ear softly as he left chaste kisses along his jaw and cheek.

The blond shiver at his name being called that way, he gulped again, kissing his way down to Psyche's chest as he had lifted the shirt enough to be folded below Psyche's arms, kissing his chest.

"Quiet down... Mom and Dad will hear." he whispered.

Psyche nodded bit his lower lip as he felt another squeak try to let itself out. He covered his mouth with his hands, clamping them shut tightly as he closed his eyes. His body trembled as his chest was peppered with soft kisses. The sensation was so foreign, yet familiar. It was so much better than his dream.

"Tsu-chaaaannn~" he mewled, his voice muffled from his hands over his mouth. His brow was knit together as he trembled.

Tsugaru kept kissing softly, making sure to be gentle and by that finding the most sensitive spots, he went to the side and shyly gave a small stroke to his nipple, with his tongue, before sucking and filling with kisses.

Breathing hard through his nose, Psyche panted as the coil in his stomach was tightening. He bit his lower lip, willing himself to be quiet. But a long groan escaped him when his nipple was teased.

"Tsu-chan!" He cried as he arched his back, gasping for air as he clawed his hands into the bed beneath him. He groaned as he felt his cock beading with what he was sure was precum. He felt his member twitch with each suck, and the ball in his stomach grew tighter and hotter. Tsugaru went lower, licking right in the middle of Psyche's stomach and passing his belly button with one long lick. He bit the edge of the smaller boy's pants and pulled down, enough to see Psyche's member twitching at the cold feeling it must have had.

"Don't blame me if Delic or Hibiya listen..."

"Hgnnn….gnn…aaah!" The strained mewl was all Psyche could muster when the cool air hit his swollen member. The sensation alone was almost enough to make the young virgin come right then. His magenta eyes were half lidded as he stared blankly at the ceiling. His breathe came out in short, heated pants, and his body shivered and arched with every lick and kiss Tsugaru did. Tsugaru couldn't help but chuckle at how sensitive he was, he leaned down, looking at Psyche's member and thought for a moment before taking his tongue out, licking the very tip from the precum that was showing.

"Ts-Tsugaru!" He cried, a large shudder went through Psyche as his vision turned white. "Nnngggg…" he groaned as he arched his back, his eyes rolling back with a strong pleasure as he finally let the painful coil in his abdomen release. Small spurts of cum shot out of his untouched member. Small mewls and squeaks came out in breathy pants as he rode off his first, conscious orgasm.

Tsugaru looked down, seeing that Psyche's shorts and boxers were covered in cum, he smiled, looking at Psyche again as he cleaned part of the cum with his tongue.

"How did it feel?"

Psyche's head rolled back tiredly, his eyes half lidded as he suddenly felt exhausted. His skin was still tingling and his head was still cloudy, but he could at least see again.

"I…It felt…like…mmmm…" No words could describe the immense pleasure he felt. It was overwhelming and breath taking. He now understood why adults did this all the time. It felt fucking amazing. "Tsu-chan…." he whispered, closing his tired eyes. Tsugaru pushed himself closer to Psyche's face, eye level, and smiled.

"This is only the start of what adults do, though the other part could be a bit painful..." he explained, looking down at Psyche's already growing member.

Psyche opened his eyes, licking his parched lips as he stared dazed at Tsugaru. "There…is more?" he croaked, his voice slightly scratched.

Tsugaru chuckled, he smiled, "Yeah, but I don't think we should, you just learned about this all..."

Psyche smiled dopily, and closed his eyes again, tugging on Tsugaru's arm weakly.

"Ok…Psyche is too tired to do any more…Psyche and Tsu-chan can try again another night…" he mewled, reverting to third person speech; just like when he was a little kid whenever he was tired. Tsugaru chuckled, brushing Psyche's bangs back, smiling to himself.

"Yeah, some other night..." he thought about it for a bit, before setting himself next to Psyche, covering his waist down. Psyche instantly curled into Tsugaru, resting his head on his chest, fisting his hands into his shirt as he buried his face into his neck, breathing softly, falling into a deep, much needed sleep.


End file.
